Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball” video
1) Miley, why are you licking a sledgehammer?
2) Seriously, is the hammer clean?
3) What does the hammer taste like? Does it taste like pennies?
4) When you’re on the wrecking ball naked…um, isn’t it painful? Is the…um, crotch area?
5) Aren’t you opposed to chafing, Miley?
6) Why are you crying and showing us your ass at the same time?
7) Seriously, Miley, we can see your ass in those fetching tiny underpants. You do not have to turn your ass towards the camera just to make sure we can see it as you lie prone in the midst of your symbolic wreckage.
8) Why did you have to get Terry Richardson to direct this video? This is a really good pop song. Honestly, it is. I wanted to be able to non-guiltily enjoy the video. Why hire Terry, Miley, why?
I leave you guys with King the Kid’s parody of “Wrecking Ball” which is a good cover but somewhat fails as a parody because it basically just recreates her video, and thus actually comes off as more restrained than the original. These performers actually look a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing, while Miley herself seems blithely unaware of my shrieks of secondhand embarrassment.