Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Melinda May Makes Some Facial Expressions Kinda

I am going to make more of an effort today to, um, curb my recapping.  Because here’s the thing: I haven’t watched last week’s episode yet.  And I’m about to, but my point is that it wasn’t for lack of time—I watched Homeland, I watched Sleepy Hollow, I even watched old episodes of Justified instead of watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  And last night, I plum forgot about the show and watched part of Twister instead—which is even worse.



There are things about the show I enjoy.  But I never ever think about it afterward, and I have absolutely no burning desire to watch it.  So…here goes.  Click Hulu, click play.

Okay, I’ve seen this episode.  It was on Angel, and it was called “Untouched.”  A woman develops uncontrolled telekinetic abilities and injures the people around her.  Carry on.

Ward and May’s Liaison of Badness seems to have continued past the one night—they’re being stealthy and keeping it a secret.


Ew.  Just ew.

Ew. Just ew.

Coulson assigns Skye the job of soothing the telekinetic, since she did almost get herself killed and all doing something similar in the first episode.  Skye is being a bit bitchy toward Ward and May—I don’t think she knows, but her spine is a-tingle.  With Ick.



(I’m trying to psychoanalyze why I dislike this so much, but to me, it’s right up there with George and Izzy.  It’s. Just. Wrong.)


WRONG brought to you from

WRONG brought to you from

Fitz and Simmons are worried about the telekinesis interfering with the nearby Particle Accelerator…and maybe causing another Big Bang.  Which would be bad.  But they don’t seem so worried about it, since they’re spending their time thinking about ways to haze Skye (dude, they’ve been working together for quite some time now.  I feel like they kind of missed the window on hazing.)



Telekinetic Girl, having been shot by May with a tranquilizer gun, is on the bus, in a magnetically sealed room so her powers can’t go beyond it.  May and Coulson go to explain things.  So far Skye has done jack.  Fitz and Simmons’ idea of hazing is exaggerating May’s awesomeness, and telling tall tales about how she got the nickname “the Cavalry.”  Which is such lazy television-making that I can barely type.

The Telekinetic believes that demons are haunting her, and that’s where the powers are coming from.  Skye would like to, you know, do the job Coulson assigned her, and go in and talk to the Guilt-ridden Religious Telekinetic.  She is refused, and so goes to complain to Ward about May…yep, her spine be a-tingling.

The magnetically sealed room doesn’t seem to be working that well.  Stuff keeps moving around.  Skye finds a personnel file on somebody Telekinetic used to work with, before her powers killed him…and here’s where using known actors gets shows into trouble.  I’ve seen this guy.  He was on Justified. Therefore, he’s not really dead.


See?  You've seen this guy before.

See? You’ve seen this guy before.

Fitz is planning some new prank involving a mop, a gas mask, and some twine.  He does not see the spooky figure behind him.  Simmons determines that the explosion that was thought to have caused the Telekinetic’s telekinesis appears to have torn some sort of hole… “into Hell!” says the guy from Justified, right before he tries to smash Simmons’ face in!  (That’s kinda what that guy always does.  Also he was on Grey’s Anatomy.)

Justified Ghost rips out the power on the bus, and Coulson calmly announces that they will be crashing shortly.  Ward and May get set to land the plane, and Skye continues to be useless—she’s like me in my mother-in-law’s kitchen: “What can I do?”  “Nothing, dearie, except maybe going away and leaving me alone.”  But Coulson lets her tell the Non-Telekinetic that she’s not exactly being punished by God…Killer Ghost on the loose is an improvement, yes?

Fitz is missing—he got locked in a closet, and he thinks it’s a prank.  The Killer Ghost seems to have a plan…and a surprisingly good understanding of the plane’s workings and layout.  He traps Fitz, since Fitz is particularly helpful in these situations, and he rips out Coulson’s backup radio device.

Skye goes and sits with Non-Telekinetic, and she’s very gentle.  They talk about God, and Skye says “I prefer ‘God is love.’  That’s the version I like.  I don’t think the thing that holds us all together would be punishing you.”

Sad Melinda May looks very different from regular Melinda May.  I can see it now.

Sad Melinda May looks very different from regular Melinda May. I can see it now.

And May is standing around the corner, listening, and it’s as though what Skye is saying affects her even more profoundly than the Non-Telekinetic.  But then she comes around the corner, relieves Skye—who was really feeling useful!—and is rather bitchy about it, way more so than in the past.  She’s always been brusque, but this is just plain rude.  Is it the God talk, or is it Ward?  Skye, never one to back down, is bitchy right back: “Try not to hurt her…any more than you already have, Agent May.”

Simmons tells us that the lab where the Ghost and the Non-Telekinetic worked was trying to recreate a portal, like the kind used by Asgardians.  It seems to have sort of worked—and the Ghost is trapped between worlds.  Simmons and Fitz come to undo the Ghost’s mucking about with the plane, but the Ghost traps them in a closet.  I bet Fitz doesn’t think it’s a prank this time.  Ward leaves them locked in there to go fight the Ghost…who doesn’t seem to able to control, quite, when he appears or disappears—but he knocks out Ward before he goes.

Coulson and Skye take time out of their rather busy schedule to discuss why May is really called “The Cavalry.”  Apparently she went in to a situation in Bahrain to save some people…and in so doing killed a whole lot of people—without a gun.  She hasn’t been the same since; she used to be like Skye, and Coulson wants to see if he can bring the old May back.  And then the Ghost attacks, because hi, everybody has a lot to do right now and it’s not really a good time for chitchat.  He grabs Skye, and demands to be let in to see the Non-Telekinetic.

May takes the Non-Telekinetic out into the woods.  Coulson uses one of his nifty toys to communicate with locked up Fitz and Ward and Simmons.   Fitz tells him he can get out by blowing up said nifty toy.

"Sniff.  They only made twenty I think."

“Sniff. They only made twenty I think.”

Fitz’s broom and twine prank comes out to play, which helps Skye work out that somehow the Ghost is trying to protect the Non-Telekinetic, because, aw, “he likes her.”  Which makes him seem still psychopathic, but as Skye puts it, childish—which doesn’t quite track with the handy way he has with taking down all their equipment, though I suppose it does with locking people in closets.

“Obviously, I rigged this little beauty before I knew there was a dimension-jumping psychopath in the mix.”

“Obviously, I rigged this little beauty before I knew there was a dimension-jumping psychopath in the mix.”

And May, despite not being there for this conversation, seems to have worked this out—though how, because she had none of the information necessary to come to this conclusion, I don’t know, but there you are.  She says to the Non-Telekinetic, “Tell him I won’t hurt you.”  He apparently caused the explosion—accidentally—and asks for the Non-Telekinetic’s forgiveness.  She says only God can forgive—and May says that He won’t.  That what the Ghost had done he will carry with him forever, and all that can be done is to let go of who you used to be—that Hell is holding onto that.  So she convinces him to, I guess, make the full journey into whatever dimension it is he got halfway sent to…and I’m guessing it’s not a very nice dimension, since the Ghost referred to it as Hell.

Goodbye, Non-Telekinetic.  Goodbye, Psycho Ghost Man.

Goodbye, Non-Telekinetic. Goodbye, Psycho Ghost Man.

May looks reheheally bummed out, and Coulson asks what she said to the Ghost.  She says, “the same words you said to me in Bahrain.”  Those would’ve been some pretty harsh words, man.  Skye goes to sit with May as they fly away…which is well-intentioned, but seems unlikely to be appreciated.  Although, weirdly, this happens:


"Who pranked me?  I know it was one of you all, 'fess up."

“Who pranked me? I know it was one of you all, ‘fess up.”

"Heh.  It was me.  And somehow I can hear you all from all the way up here in the cockpit."

“Heh. It was me. And somehow I can hear you all from all the way up here in the cockpit.”


Empowered Count: 1

Pithy Line:  “I don’t mean to scare you, I just need to use you as bait.”

Episode Grade: B-

So, clearly, that wasn’t much shorter.  Oh well.

I’m glad to see something of May, and even though I still say to you ICK re: the Liaison of Badness.  Killing lots of people with one’s bare hands would, indeed, be upsetting if one is not the Incredible Hulk, so I’ll give her that.  I feel like we just got the merest peek, though, and I don’t really see how this situation could have pulled her back, even partway, to her happy, pranking self.

And speaking of pranks, that whole storyline was just dumb.  It wasn’t funny, it didn’t lighten the mood, it just made me think they were all kind of stupid.

And now I will go back to not thinking about this show at all.