Britney Spear’s “Work Bitch” single release
1) Britney, I wish to go “work.” Where do I apply for a job?
2) Does this “work” come with benefits? How about dental?
3) Clearly, the salary for this “work” is high, as I will be able to afford a Maseratti and a Bugatti, even though I don’t know what a Bugatti is.
4) Who is the Guh-vu-nuh? Are you the Guh-vu-nuh?
5) You say I should “go call the Guh-vu-nuh”. What is the number where I can call the Guh-vu-nuh? Could I text the Guh-vu-nuh?
6) I would like a “hot body”. Could I still have a “hot body” and “look hot in a bikini” if I sit around and “sip martinis” and ride around my Lamborghini?
7) Britney, why do you sound British? You are from Louisiana.
8) Britney, do you have a cold?
9) Why do I need to call the PO-lice?
10) Is it because you are a bad bitch? It is, isn’t it?
11) Since this is partially a homage to RuPaul, can I conclude that you enjoy RuPaul’s Drag Race? Who is your favorite contestant?
12) Is your favorite challenge “Lipsync for your life”?
13) Sorry to be rude. I’m one of the crazy fans that looks up and watches videos like this, and I think you can actually sing, if not amazingly (I can’t sing at all, so…). But, girl, you lipsync 99.9% of the time, right?
14) When you perform this song tomorrow on GMA, is your performance going to be as awkward as this and this?
15) Britney, real talk, why can’t you dance anymore? You used to be a really good dancer, and it gave me…funny feelings.
16) Britney, why are you still under a conservatorship?
17) Is it true you can’t hold a conversation?
18) Why was your judge-ship on The X-factor so gif-able while your actual performance was so boring?
19) Britney, are you okay? Do you even like to perform anymore? If your songs are so happy, why the hell are your eyes so sad?
20) Is The Fug Girls’ theory about your lost dancing abilities correct?
21) Britney, why I can’t I quit you?
22) Is this song timed to coincide with the end of Breaking Bad?
23) You know what this song reminds me of? Azealia Banks’ “212.” I heard it on on The Bling Ring’s trailer.
24) Britney, why did you say this was going to be your “most personal album yet” and then release a song called “Work Bitch”?
25) Britney, I ain’t even mad at you. This song is amazing.
26) Britney, why is this song so amazing?
This song is amazing.
